Sunday, May 29, 2005
Weirdly, I m really inspired about people around me. Whenever I feel odd or irritated by some matters they will never fail to remind me that it is a learning experience. Well, i m really inspired by this! hahaha. everything has become what a learning experience for me. I truly believe after all these irritating matters i have in my life, i m gonna changed to become more tolerant and definitely smarter! waha. so watch me shine sooon~
So whenever i m doing something i hate to do, i m actually learning how to love it as i m doing it as in life some things are just inevitable and you just have to end up doing things that you loathe somehow. so, why not learn to adapt and accept it now?
alrighty, i m gonna be away for interact camp on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Seems like i m gonna take a good break from this place. Till then, dont start missing me :P!
countdown meter:28 days
1:51:00 pm captivated
Saturday, May 28, 2005
righty, i m back. definitely feeling much better and i m very sure i m gonna have enough time to take care of myself. whee~ nothing beats having holidays! though, i foresee myself mugging for upcoming exams. :)
countdown meter:29 dAys
yesterday, i had GP paper. If u ask me, i would say it is manageable but certainly not an easy one. I tried real hard to focus, hopefully i can do fairly well. c:
I watched Mandagascar too! wheee!! i loved it! so hilariousss couldnt really stop laughing. Alex is my fave character, the lion! i really love its mane. wooo!! real nice :D




hehehe, till then take care!
7:07:00 pm captivated
Because I m a girl
I just cant understand the ways
Of all the men and their mistakes
You give them all your heart
And then they rip it all away
You told me how much you loved me
And how our love was meant to be
And i believed in you,
I thought that you would set me free
You shouldve just told me the truth,
That i wasnt the girl for you
Still i didnt have a clue,
So my heart depended on You
Although ill say 'i hate u' now,
Although ill shout and curse you out
Ill always have love for you,
Because i am a girl
Been told a man will leave you cold,
Get sick of you and bored
I know that it`s no lie,
I gave my all still i just cry.
Never again will i be fooled,
to give my all when nothings true
I loved u so... now
u leave me in the cold,
How could this be,
i thought that u'd only love me
Into the night,i will pray that youre alright,
You hurt me so, I cant let u go....
You took advantage of my willingness,
to do anything for love,
Now im the only one in pain...
will you please take it all away?
Oh..Never thought born being a girl,
How i can love you and be burned
And now i will build a wall,
to never get torn again
Although ill say 'i hate u' now,
Although ill shout and curse you out
I`ll always have love for you,
Because i am a girl
6:24:00 pm captivated
Friday, May 27, 2005
if you knew how much i loved you
you wouldn't hurt me the way
you chose to hurt
11:31:00 pm captivated
Thursday, May 26, 2005
ASSOHFIVE CIPi am so very afraid that i will screw it up. Reasons why- firstly, its a class cip project but i see myself fully in charge of it.why u may ask, its because ying cha yang cou become the class CIP Rep since last year. secondly, i really hate talking in front of the class, i mean no one really gives a damn abt the cip project and yes, i really feel like talking to the wall when i m talking to the class.somehow, walls are better as they listen to me quietly at least. if no one bothers, then why do i still planned for it? Waste my time, waste my effort, waste my energy... :(today, during the break i spoke to jialing abt the cip thingy. she said no one cares about it. i feel really bad. i dont wanna care too if no one wants to give a damn abt it. dont play me. tell me and i'll scrape it.for now, all i asked is for everything to run smoothly. if u havent already know, this class cip project has been on my mind for 5months. it's weighing heavily on my mind all the time. i just cant wait for it to be over and done with sooooon. not lying, i do need time for myself and i m tired of theseeeee.move on~!!!
3:27:00 pm captivated
bits anD pieces of mefeels so broken on the inside. i wanna say sorry if i do let the people feel bored about this entry. somethings are just overflowing on the inside. 2 weeks before, i was sitting beside lois during maths tutorial. after a long while, she asked me,' hey are u okay? why so quiet for the last two days?' percisely, i feel i m very quiet too. i feel too tired to want to mingle with my friends and classmates. to me, i guess it wouldnt bother anyone that i m like that because i realised a long time back that i m fading away frm this crowd. somehow, my existence is no longer felt. every friend or every being is more concerned about themselves than anything or anyone else. anyway, answering lois 's question to me, i said. Friends- these people are the ones who want to share the good times with you. again. who really wants a friend who is gloomy all day. and who wants to listen to the same unsolved problems you have all day? Well, most friends will say they will stand by you. BUT think again. Many-a-times, who do u find when u really need someone? the answer is yourself. Who are the ones who will really be there for you? the exact answer is few will.ooh isnt this sad. well, dont try to refute this as yet. think about it yourself.well after hearing me, i sensed that lois felt bad too. she assured me that definitely out there there will be someone who will be always there for me.and she ended off by saying, 'dont always put all your heart out for everyone. you know?'hmm, yes. this is the major problem about me. so, why do i always wanna care so much for everyone around me? most of them dont even appreciate or dont even know of my concerns for them. so why do i still care?*sighs*
it isnt easy to be me. dont be me.
2:42:00 pm captivated
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
i've tried to go on like I never knew youi'm awake but my world is half asleepI pray for this heart to be unbrokenBut without you all i'm going to be is incompleteincomplete>BSB
11:12:00 pm captivated
you think u have learnt?hmm, i was just wondering have i taken things for granted? as in did i remember to give thanks for the shelter over my head, the food on my table, having my family and friends with me through the ups and downs. It really sets me thinking. Today i had interact board meeting. although it was dry throughout and makes me sleepy, i really did think it was very enriching. Have u ever seen others , those living in poverty, live in such poor conditions that it sends tears to your eyes? well, i havent BUT i can really feel for them when this issue was discussed during the meeting. how is it really like to be like them? arent we very blessed in many ways. Something about the western culture and their way of life was discussed too. After learning more about these westerners, i really think we, Asian are better in many ways. at least, i feel we will be a better hosts for our guests. *waha, i guess i may be biased*Did i not say, i messed up the accounts?! opps, this is such a headache. it's all screwed up for good and let me tell u, u hv no idea how i can clear this mess! wahaha~ good luck to me then and i'll see what i can do abt it.anyways, i spoke to ms yeo today. its abt me. i guess i really have some problems abt myself within. BUT, i m really not sure what is it. well, i just cant stop thinking that i m just not as fabulous compared to the others. studies and blah blah blah. its just no matter how hard i try. sometimes, i just convince myself to settle for being lousy. however, when that happens a WHOLE lot of my friends will start to say u are great lars. the thing is i dont see it myself. have i not loved myself enough? i dont know. maybe someday i'll know and i wont have to feel bad within again.=/hmm, cant help it but i just have to say. how come u look just like a little boy? hahaha. so glad u were happy. isnt this just what i hoped for?wheee~havent i always loved you.
9:49:00 pm captivated
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
words are only wordshmm, i m not kidding. seriously, i feel so drained. real tired that is. i think it's because of the stress i had yesterday. tests makes me stress. anyway, maths test turned out to be a group work at the end and chem test is postponed to coming monday. so why am i so worked up yesterday? hahaha~whheee, i found janice. she seems to be enjoying her ploy life soo much. sometimes i really ponder, is ploy a better option. but for now, who cares. college life is great too.whahaha. i m tired. not gonna dwell on any longer. gotta do accounts and call moral fsc up. *prays* CIP will be a success. c: eww, hurts. =/
3:52:00 pm captivated
i wanna fall in love with you
In open fields of wild flowers, she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running and fall in
His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,
"I want to fall in love with You"
Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people who stare into nowhere,
and can't feel the chains on their souls
"I want to fall in love with You"
It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words
I can mention to show my devotion
"I want to fall in love with You"
"my heart beats for You"
i wanna fall in love with u>jays of clay
2:57:00 pm captivated
Monday, May 23, 2005
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow u're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
n you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yhea you bleed just to know you're alive
iris>googoodolls
5:40:00 pm captivated
tough gets going!alright, i m going to go maD, maddie, midddie any second frm now on. the maths is killing me.lets see if i can pass it tmr~eww, i really dont like it this way. BUT, its just studying for it is somewhat = not studying for it.*pissed* well, i tried the TYS, whole lot of them i dont know how to do.WHY?! i already studied for it what. to sum up, I M FREAKING SCARE OF MATHS TEST. Chemistry test, ok the truth is i havent start studying for it yet and the test is TOMORROW. yupp, i m not kidding. somebody, please use a wooden rod to beat me up. argh, i really deserve it. i really cant put theory and calculations together. Now tell me, why m i still a science student? I really really have slacked enough and i really really really have wasted enough hours. So, the question is when when is it exactly am i gonna wake up?? YOU FOR NO TIME TO WASTE I M TELLING YOU. go, think abt it.
5:28:00 pm captivated
Sunday, May 22, 2005
he stands by mesometimes i think i know where i stand without doubtbut the ground i put my feet dont only shakes me aboutdont know how it is but i hv gone the wrong wayi'm left empty inside with my heart lost and astrayoh Lord, help me to find myselfthe one u believe i can belead me and guide me to walk the right waywith your love in my hearti know i'll not go astrayso, i can send my feet on solid groundready to face what spins me aroundfor He's there when i fearand He stands by mei have the Lord and nowI have Me.
11:17:00 pm captivated
turly heartfelt :P yeah, few days back, i received nass newsletter. u know, the ones that we used to receive every half a year frm our schools? usually, what we will do is jus flip thru anD next, dump it lar. hahaha. this time round, when i receive the nas newsletter i was really pleased :> yay! firstly, it makes me feel very close to the school. I mean, they remember to update us their fruits of success, just like we are still part of the student body. somehow, i dont really feel like a ex- student of nas at all. wheee! secondly, i get to see some stuffs that's very close to heart. for example, a blur picture of the nas choir and a short highlight of their trip to Wales last year another is a picture of my Physics teacher-Mr Lim. Well, how could i possibly forget the many times when he stayed back after sch to coach me. hahaha. in case u dont know, my Physics really really sucks. haha. hmm, today i m reAL tired. i m making a mess with the different hours. i m supposed to meet my friend at 2pm but i mistook the timing and thought i m meeting her at 8.30am. Oh, u see the difference? so, i left home early in the morning and then realised i'll made a somewhat stupid mistake lar. blurr.
9:31:00 pm captivated
Saturday, May 21, 2005
just you and me
in my world, i was so very conscious of the every move you make and
the every breath you take~
no doubt, its over
the feeling, more than what words can express
although it is merely just by ur sidei m thankful
for it's so much for a happy ending.
****
cause it's just you and me
and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me
and all of the people i dont know whyi cant keep my eyes off of youi long to hear those words from you still.
10:07:00 pm captivated
college dayee
its college day today and somehow i feel it in my bones that its gonna be just another boring and unfruitful afternoon.went out to meet vanessa, weijian,boon yong and khai yuen for lunch~ guess what, i live the nearest BUT i was terribly late. however, i must say that its really isnt me who left home late but just the buses to interchange never appear. hmm. got me in deep sh*t.hahaha. anyways thereafter,headed back college for interact meeting. its abt the upcoming june camp. well, i think it could have been more exciting i guess if for once we( the committee) can do away with the last minute attitude. yep. this attitute never really surfaces when i m in choir committee then. everything was on time and well-planned. it really bothers me once in a while and i wonder if i can ever get use to this kind of attitude.waha~ at the end of it all, i think today is so worthy and somehow definitely not unfruitful :D
9:22:00 pm captivated
Friday, May 20, 2005
soooo noww mf and ms cheong knows abt this bloggie. whee~ :D i m very happy. as for my past dreadful experience i mus say it is really ending. although i've said this alot of times, i must say again. wahahaha. u know what, i will live and i will walk of of this sh*t. come to think about it now, i m really doing very well. and like i told alicia, each time i feel bad or damn sad abt him i nv fail to learn how i can recover better. Definitely after each time, i feel a whole lot better.thats why i say i'll keep my promise to myself. remember, no one else can protect you better than you yourself. woww!!
hey, i m afraid this may turn UGLY n i have to leave this place ALONE.
10:55:00 pm captivated
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me
cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands I sit and cry
7:22:00 pm captivated
whee~!! i've got a blog. i guess blogging is real fun and hopefully i wont get tired of it anytime sooon. haha :)
well, i felt so drained just an hour back.when its maths all the calculations are fine BUT when it comes to chemistry, i just wanna tear the papers to bitsss. =/
anyways, today is well spent i must say,because i havent slackk as much! wheeee~
hmm, listened to the radio just now. a girl wrote in her story about herself and this guy of her past. she's stuck, living a life that she cant leave behind. what i thought was, i m so like her. but i wanna move on because life is too short to be living in the past all the time.
yupp, somebody watch kingdom of heaven with me?? :)
everytime i see you falling i get down on my knees and pray waiting for the final moment you say the words that i cant say
6:36:00 pm captivated