im shouting your name on this hilltop

today, i had another just-an-ordinary day.

(hahaha)

spent my day @ nexus for bible crash course Part II ((:
knocking more and more sense into me as time passes there.
i see so many things to know, to learn and to re-learn.
last of all, i am becoming afraid of serving and doing things with the wrong heart attitude.

i see that its important to have a heart of passion.

not just temporary highs

not just out-of-routine

but to serve with geninue passion.

i want a heart pumping with love as a fuel and passion for your name.

(hmmm...)

i happen to love the library.

anyone wants to crash library with me b4 20th DEC? (:

to jeanette, xue min, huiyi, vanessa, jolyn, jiaying, adeline, my dear shepherd (: i miss you all TODAY. Be good till the weekend comes! (:



yummy is your word (:

phew. yay.
the best thing, there is no work tmr.
i will be back in nexus for crash course (:
although the speaker didn't much delivered the lesson like i expected,
still i gain x1000000000 from it.

The best part was, when you think you know what you know,
you will come to realise that you actually know nuts abt it (x (hahaha)

sounds crazy.

BUT, yes.

Bible study is an amazing journey to embark on. ((:

i learn and i am learning- now, i want to apply because let's remember that if we can't apply what we learnt then we haven't learn.

On another note,

I just want to warn all around me that i am becoming more and more like a monster physically.

(hahaha) well, i hate zits.

but again, nothing beats God whispering- i love you to me. ((:

Can man love like He does? no.

remember that.



my life is yours.

today, i am asking you to take over.

for many times, i choose to surrunder again.

though i am weak and poor

all i have is yours.

looking forward to breakthroughs in life. (:

dear god, thanking for loving us even though we don't deserve it.

are you seeking the real you in you?

the answer is here. ASK ME . (:



We rode into town the other day,
just me and my Daddy.
He said I'd finally reached that age,
and I could ride next to him on a horse
that of course was not quite as wide
We heard a crowd of people shouting
and so we stopped to find out why

There was that man that my dad said he loved,
but today there was fear in his eyes
So I said Daddy why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is he dressed in that bright purple robe?
I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows
Daddy please can't you do something?
He looks as if he's going to cry
You said he is stronger than all of those guy
Daddy please tell me why,
why does everyone want him to die?

Later that day the sky grew cloudy and
daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy,
boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
if there was something that he had to hide

So after he left I had to find out,
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds to a hillwhere
I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from a cross
And it said-

Father why are they screaming.
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for my clothes?
I bet that crown hurts him more than he shows
Father please can't you do something?
I know that you must hear my cry
I thought I could handle a cross of this size,
Father remind me why,
why does everyone want me to die.
When will I understand why?

My precious Son,
I hear them screaming.
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
but soon I will clothe you in robes of my own.
Jesus this hurts me more than you know
But this dark hour I must do nothing.
I've heard your unbearable cry
the power in your blood destroys all the lies
,soon you'll see past their unmerciful eyes.

Look there below see the child trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why,
she is why you must die.

nicole nordeman/why

I posted this 5 months back.
Today as i listened to it again- brings back a heart of thanks giving.
How about you, it has been a long time since i asked, have you known the 'why'? :)



maybe if we ignore it long enough, it will go away.

i spent half my day reading today.

Reading stuffs that may not even interest you. Seemingly, i do have a odd taste when it comes to reading. Romances- definitely not for me. I am more of a thriller and fantasy kind of person. These days I have taken a liking to real-life stories and anything which speaks of the fingerprints of my creator. (:

The books are piling on my desk.

I have been buying + borrowing and this results in books starting to collect dust on my desk.

The thing is, when it comes to reading i do love enjoying every moment immersed in it. I don't have the habit of reading many books at one go and I am a relatively slow reader. :(

Anyhow, thank god for every worth reading book. :)



my heart sings with all i am

my hair is falling in an alarming rate. at least it alarms me. :(
but again, my hair has been always always falling.

does old age brings about real extreme loneliness? I can almost feel such cries everyday, especially from people who are close to your heart. The thing is i feel helpless too. Do you want my time?

But again, if i give you my time. How are we gonna spend this time? Is it random chats?

Humans are wierd :( i am one of them.

Guess what, God love us anyhow anyway. dont forget :)
++++
a life to witness http://mygod-saves.blogspot.com/



friday friday friday. YAY!

anyway, these days i have a urge to be a 'murderer' . O: crowded buses, trains really makes me wanna bite people. Irritating when people keeps crushing my toes( am wearing slippers!!), when people especially males who have to lean so close to you (arghhhhh!!), when some freaky nutcases just have to speak loudly in an aunty manner.

This makes the ride feel like it is going on forever.

something is not right with my tongue today.
I called my boss Mr bean O: O:
can you guess how he reacted?

I so wanna kill myself.



i'll find you in the pages

and so, with faith and courage my feet just took me step by step closer to nexus reception for decor on tue and wed night (: praise god. this verse just constantly pops out from my mind-

2 Tim 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

In case i have forgotten the spirit that is in me, He is greater than me and surely God did not give me a spirit of timidity. I just felt so encouraged to continue to serve God even in my odd situation- and Edwin just reminded me that God will never shortchange us (:

not mine, but your will be done.



temporary

things are actually not as bad as i think, because all are in His Hands. I just felt like pulling out my hair last night, the pressure my dad gave is somehow crushing me. My mind just can't fathom the moments of seconds, minutes and hours having to spend without God. Then again, He spoke in his still small voice promising yet again that-the world can never take His love away from me and what is happening now will come to pass.

He saw every tear that falls.

He hurts more than I do.

He holds me in His Hands.

This is temporary, moulding stage, time of discipline, test of faith and courage. Your grace is sufficient and there is no where that your grace is unreachable. Trusting your perfect plans i just want to obey your calling- Take me higher (:

woahs, and i just want to thank VANESSA for the day. The best thing on a weekend is to be out with a buddy just for few hours to do shopping for musicplayer and a book (: + mac breakfirst.



your grace

In fact, everyday we need to live knowing that we have a constant need for god.
That's what they call the god-shaped hole. Nothing but only God can fill. ((:

three simple words.

But amazingly sufficient to explain all that a human being needs to know when they are feeling real emptiness.

My point is, not sure about anyone else, but this truly aptly applies to me and my life.
I only can sum up by saying, I need Him.

Anyhow, i just wanna say we can serve God in many ways. One of which is to pack the decor storeroom! (alright, actually i didn't really do much and also didn't play any significant role) BUT, i saw God beaming (: Just felt so uplifted to know that we have made God's House tidy and He is going to bless the people in the House(every single soul). (yay yay!) Plus, the MAMA SHOP sign is ready! Together with the 'Hungry' , ' Thirsty' and 'Icecream' sign ! (: Now, we are moving on to the backdrops for gala dinner (: So proud of this team! By God's grace, we are on task (: (yay!)








expressway to heaven

i think my title for today is absurd but catch this, i just experience one of the closest moments to death. O: (hmm, at least i think so..)

I was dead hungry and was queuing for food, suddenly my vision became blur and all I could hear was whispering voices. I seemed to be sucked out into vacumn- region of empty space. My vision became more and more blur. For about the next 10 seconds, I was convinced that I am going to faint. In my mind i was hanging tight was the holy spirit- letting out a silent scream of distress-HELP, from within.

Thank God, I didn't faint but I know, it's the next closest experience to really fainting. (:

Yesterday, I was sick but still by faith I went for CG. Just wanna really thank Shanrui and Edwin for spicing the whole group up. (: My leaders are really funny people to hang out with! I love drawing on hands (: (soo, peeps dont be late next time if not you will all be our victims) and the worship session is faith-filled. Although I failed to obey god's calling to share a verse. :( , I thank my CG mates for being so understanding- that it was my first time.

Last of all, I think the highlight is still being laid hands and prayed for by CG mates. Thank god for wonderful blessings big and small, definitely thank god for blessing us with good gifts. I know for sure, it's you and not me afterall.

At the end of the CG session- I am completely healed by God's touch.
All of a sudden, no flu and no sore throat.
I am not kidding. (:



and you said all that you felt for me was-undying love

it has been a long time since i am chilling out at home on a weekday afternoon. (: today is the day- slept as much as i could, had four bowls of soup + congree for lunch, just felt as though i am the most blessed person alive (:

these comes with a cost-of course.
i had a bad sore throat and a leaking nose. =S
but again, i still thank god for giving me rest. :)

jeremiah 29:13-you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

we are one step closer to breakthrough!



jarful of blessing sticks

i have been really sleepy for the last 2 days at work. Nothing much, just feeling really lethargic. This is especially so when i am checking the inventory. -so tao yan- :(

i love yesterday, serving god peaks me UP. It just renews me from the inside out ((:

Can't wait for more more more more. -chants-

***
Yup, thank god for Chloe.
She is God-sent, i am sure! =]



you are more than my feeling

thanks a bunch for jasmine and sengkim- for the TCC session yesterday. The warm brownie and funny tasting caffeine drink was secondary. Having god's people around is primary. I was compelled to think forth of my progress for the last four months.

Indeed, all healthy beings are growing. Growth puts you in a joyful and painful situation. I love to be set in challenges, i love to receive your promises, knowing that this is not-a -problem free life BUT what makes life worthwhile is having you with me, experiencing big and small breakthroughs.

If this is my weakness- to be so faithless, today, i want to grow out of it.
If my hunger to know you is so huge, today i want to take initiative to deepen our relationship.
If you are the treasure of my heart, today i want to live like you are in and with me 24/7.

I love you-the giver of all my gifts.
Before I claim my next gift, I just want to thank you Lord.

1 John 3:21-22
Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him

and i knew you just spoke this verse into my heart.
***
thanks yixiu for lending your ears today.
im really encouraged sis. (:



tie a knot

i think i have reached another turning point in my spiritual life.
i can feel a strange calling, irritating nudging for me to push forward with god 's spirit (of course) for this breakthrough. The huddle in front is none other, than myself. It's me i need to overcome. The burden is so pressing on my heart that i still awake at three am in the morning. If you know me, that's really unlike me, i should have been sleeping. In fact, sleeping like a log. I was up, with tears knowing that- Father, i really want and need this beautiful gift from you.

i know, i can't go an inch without you.
i need you.



i lift my hands

today is FRIDAY :O
i survived a crashing week with god.

i am a direction idiot.
I went nexus today and i am supposed to appear at the reception but i just couldn't find my way there as i see all doors locked/closed. Thank god for Faith for coming to find me ((: (aiya, i very troublesome) and Cady (someone whom i don't know) who took care of me before Faith appears.
Before that, i really wanna chiong into the room where they will practising for P&W tmr. The music is so contagious. (:

(loves) Decor
I just realised that i am seriously very bad at ARTwork. I can't even draw the 'A' for MAMA SHOP properly. (hahahaha) But, still i am really excited about preparing for camp together as team. I think I am starting to terrorise people again (: No matter what, i just wanna say, I've got my team rocks rocks!

I am a poor time-co-ordinator
I just tried to meet vanessa and earth at the same time at different places tmr.
HAHA. how smart. (:

Heart of Worship
Camp devotion #3.
To develop a heart of worship, moving away from fear, pride and confusion. How many times have i drifted afar on my own? How many times have i tried to survive struggles with my own might? When we trust god, we will learn to trust Him more. When we depend on Him, we will learn to depend on Him more. I know I can be, more more more secure in You. (:

praise you upside. =]
Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.



in the making II

happier i am now.
i know why i am in such a spot today- that's because of something i asked for then, extreme growth.
i know i am gonna be alright. (:

my brain is puny. therefore it screws my brain.
but again, no worries at all.
I know you are gonna take care of it. =]

am i religious? no.
i am just in love with my savior friend.
you dont know Him, thats why. (:


you're my rock you blow the storms away.



in the making. I

i just feel this tug-of- war between 2 forces inside me.
Seeking help seems to be a long process.
When i noticed what is tearing me apart, usually i will brave it with my own strength, convince myself that i can manage, kill myself.

Then seek help.

But then again, help don't come instantly.

Or rather, i dont know when help comes.

by then, i am already a dead weed.

if you hear me calling- YES, i need help, god.

don't talk to me, because I am not gonna talk.

JeslineYEO :D
02041987; twenty
child of God
sim-RMIT
HOPEchurch; Singapore
neatfreak; jellyfish
Jesus (:
rainbows
swings
bbq lays
bubble tea
cup corn
soup
decor
drums
pictures

denise
debbie
earth
hanyun
jasmine
janice
jialing
jolyn
josiah
joyce
kim
lois
lindsay
mich loo
mich tham
michel
ruiqi
shiwei
serene
vanessa
yixiu
yufan
Y.hope
Y.decor
east.A
designer | kathleen(:
images&brushes | xiin.net
host | imageshack