untold mercy

just wanna briefly share about what i learnt over the last week. (:

first, something about quiet time.
i remembered at the beginning of the year,
I told God.
This year i will learn to be faithfully do QT. (:
No, QT was never a chore.
It's just that i have tendency to do it only when i have a need
and may just forgo a session when im tired/lazy. =/
(shakes head. sorry God)

Last week I was reminded about the importance of QT yet again (:
QT was so special and significant each time this year because i had my own programme with God. After a long day, I just wanna sit at the usual place, wait for Him, sing to Him, talk to Him.
It may be a short time, it may be a long time, but definitely after each time, I am restored. (:
Even when nothing is so special the day, I will always love to give thanks.

the second thing- PRAYERs.
Suddenly i realised that there are too many things that are over and beyond humans. There are too many things that we have no control over. I just came to a conclusion that we have to pray like never before. Sometimes, prayers just have to seem like they are unanswered. However, I always believe, provision will come but only in God's time and in the meanwhile we just have to wait and trust. Plus, the core about prayer is, prayers changes me. Maybe not the things around me but me. It just serves to declare my dependency and reminds me that whatever that happens God knows best and it's within his care.

These things are so simple, but yet so easily forgotten. (:
have you forgotten too?



the king loves me (:

yesterday was a night of the final struggle for our individual assignment.
completed the last draft at 1 odd am
by 2 odd am my brain is completely dead
waiting for the rest to finish so i can print for all of us
i called daniel thinking it's junyao?!
total craziness.

my shepherd was screaming JIAYOU for one msn window :)
on another, joyce decided to send me the JIAYOU picture with PS shirley :)
heehee. you don't know,
i was empowered by these JIAYOUs.

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know That
I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

through my day-
continue to apply sacrificial love until i fall asleep
be a channel of blessing to others
understanding joy is not dependent on situations :)

thank you God for the people around me,
the lovely ones, the irritating ones, pretty ones, ugly ones!

today, it's gonna be better because there is decorrrr! i miss serving in ministry :)



im a learner (:

i just adore each learning moment.
maybe i am not fast or witty,
but i think i make a good learner!
hehes.

had cg just now- another ministering time.
when i said God, i want to learn, come teach me, be my teacher..
He just rains down teachings. (:

some food for thought-
-to love beyond receving gifts and blessings
-striving hard for the glory of His name
-going all out for people out of overflow of God's love for you. (:



under it all

yesterday, i was really ministered during unit meeting. (:
although not many came, i am glad i went.
it feels so special to sit down with those who came yesterday.
afterall, we haven't had unit cg for a long time ever since the grp grew huge (:

reunion dinner at yinglin's house was a totally warm time.
i really love this big big family (:
if only all of us can fit in a big table and eat together :O
(haha, not likely cos there are so many of us)
each time i sit quietly. looking at them, i feel like the most loved person on earth. :)

plus, i really think alpha likes me. hehe.

three things in my head-
Expect BIG things from God not man :)
His love never disappoints :)
We are all adopted into this spiritual family. :)









strong arms (:

as anticipated, cyn was quite boring.
i spent most of my visit sessions eating, talking and sleeping(..zZzZ)
the best part of new year is not money,
it's seeing people whom you don't always see and people whom you only see once a year. (:
many times, the more i see people, the more i am convicted that they need Jesus.
oh Lord, i pray that you bless these folks and lead them to find your love!

oh yes, i do miss my spiritual family loads (:
thanks a bunch to liyi for a good conversation on friday.

before i forget-

vanessa, thanks for the messages.
I am doing fine (: School's good so far, no one is really bullying me. (haha)
In case you are wondering, you are not forgotten. Study hard!

jolyn, i was very much surprised to receive your call.
thanks for your constant concern. I hope you will recover soon, cos i am gonna cover you with prayers. (: 16 hours apart, i can't do much but my God sure can!
Rest well and love ya!

been thinking-
what can i do more, for you?

I can if you said i can! -smiles foolishly-



was found..

was thinking about whether it's a want, a need or both.
thinking thinking thinking about this pair of pretty mango jeans x(
yup, in the end, its lying on my bed alrdy.. hahaha.

new year shopping has driven me nuts recently. you totally don't know how atrocious fashion is these days plus shopping without getting what you need(notice its not a want) is a pure waste of precious time and energy.. i have never hated shopping before, this is the first time and i know its not gonna be the last. one lousy experience really kills all possible joy of shopping.. haha.. (did i just jump to conclusion?)

yesterday, i was listening to jy and dw as they discussed about Civics and Morals test. (hahaha)
so, the issue here is if you picked up a 100bucks will you go to the police station and say somebody dropped a 100bucks OR look up to the sky and say thank you God for such a cool blessing. (hahaha) this sernario just got caught up in my head just now because i realised i dropped my ezlink card! any sane person will pick it up and say- aha! so heng! free transport! :(

anyway, God is really really gracious. I didn't drop my ezlink at a secluded place, i dropped it at a very crowded mango store, inside its changing room. Any human could have saw it pick it up and kept it but God kept it for me. I frantically flew back to the store even though i was already at the interchange, prayed and ask God to help me find my card.. and God did.

every single day, God's grace is simply taking over-taking over me. :)

prayed for my family.
and by God's mercy, i saw Him raining blessing unto this household.

prayed for a friend.
and i know God has touched her through us.

prayed for myself.
i know, i am forever changed by His love (:
i am better, definitely better with God's care.

thank you God, you know i am undeserved.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR, in advance, my dear friends!



forever changed by your love

i was thinking about price tags.
what's the price tag on you?
i hope there are none, or i hope it doesn't read half-price/ on sales.

mine.
it read- jesus loves me and died for me.

today i was out (:
off to newyork newyork and minds cafe with my sch-mates.
loved the warm brownie, games and people.

As im struggling at the back of my head abt misfits and recent hurts,
i realised that i will overcome them soon because the shepherd of my heart has full of wisdom!
Human wisdom is but only foolishness in God's eyes.

prayerfully, i hope we touched you.



friends that stay forever (:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
HAPPY FREINDSHIP DAY

i love these very sweet people around me.
i love these new friends.
i love my closest neighbours, who stayed under the same roof.
i love Jesus.






a love for cup corns



where love seeps through

i didn't want to deny how i felt alittle too discouraged, hurt and alone for the past two weeks.
i am diligently trying. somehow, still it feels just-not enough.

trying like mad, to make myself feel right.
plus schoolwork is making me crazy.
aiya, maybe that's not the point.
feelings/emotions are annoying. (haha)

on another note, i went to meet my cg-mates just now. It's only for a short 40mins, but i felt so warm in the inside. Yinling reminded me that God doesn't make mistakes. (:

i believe- believed that love came down.

afraid of words with deep feelings
but in the end, they are amount to nothing.
value of human words= ZERO. (:
maybe humans should talk less. x)



the in-betweens

this is the grey area where i am standing.
it is a foreign place, my first time here.
at first, it ain't very scary to be here.
but after awhile, i think is it. :(

it is something unspoken- something growing from within.
as soon as i try to ignore it, it grows to become something more dangerous and harmful.
i hope its false alarm, but i know this will be that lying to myself.
feeling that something's amissed.

i know it's me, tell me the way OUT.

i need to get out now.



the time of your life

i am doing housekeeping today, especially for my room. A seemingly not-too-messy room can have a surprising amount of dust and flith. I am alittle less motivated than usual today. A messy room just spoilts all the mood i have. However, some old old things just got my heart fuzzed up with warmth and love..



old love letters, encouragement cards, christmas cards, birthday cards and whatever that goes into this category. (:

it just reminds me of those old childhood days..

now at the back of my head, i remembered i got schoolwork to do.

tonnes of them =/



engraved on me

how i realised that many around me are loved (: so much that i wondered if i have loved others enough or have others loved me too? i am back to make childish mode again, but again i am only a human. I am not tough 24/7.

true enough, that we can and only can love with imperfect love.
it's just human inclination to love with selfish love. A kind of love that is only swayed to one side of the pendulum, unbalanced. Even as you loved as much, you face disappointments. Also the love will last for as long as you feel it, when you don't feel it, then the love that you once posess will be unfound. I am glad i have found a higher form of love that remains unmoved at all circumstances.

i went running today.
I heard clearly in my heart that you said you will finish this race with me, with perserverance with pain, with an undying and trying spirit. It's not going to be easy but all it takes is a next step forward. The best part of it all is, you were sure that i can do it if i don't let go of your strong hands (:

I took a rewind at the back of my head thinking of my deeds for the past week. I was guilty to admit that i haven't been very faithful, at least not to my best. You saw that i will stumble, you saw that i had failed, but yet you came and offered to take my hands again.

i was sure i was undeserved.

I just had a refreshed understanding of the scars on your hands.
Yes. You loved, but not just me alone but for this world.
Yes, You came, but not for me alone but for this world.

Let me try it again, let me share your heartbeat.

Let me care more about what you think and what hurts you most.

Afterall, it's not about me but you.

philippians 3:13-14
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.



solid ground

heard of some terrible struggles from a dear friend..
and i was thinking how so difficult life issues may be when it all floods your life at one moment, from school to friends to home to even the slightest detail of your life. I am not sure what i will be like if i was in her shoes, but i do know that in situations like this where there are no more roads ahead, we have to look heavenward for directions.

keep asking god.

keep asking and asking.

i believe in a god who listens even when all you hear is slience.

be still, be quiet.

afterall, you will stumble but never fall.

I am so glad God reminded me that i am on standing on solid ground (:

Matthew 7:25- The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.


(hehe) i just like this pic.

thaiexpress with my girls (:

i love ah mao (haha)

cg- a game of true or true. no dares =/



guardian angel (:

plenty of walking + plenty of hidden stress= jesline

i have been walking pretty much lately because the national library is between bugis and city hall. Town has become my second home and i can like camp over there to save transport cost. (haha) and today, vanessa and me toured pasir ris (: all thanks to me! we walked for about 1.5hours before reaching edwin's condo :O (claps and please say we are amazing).

maybe so. maybe not. haha, i hope vanessa is wrong about accounting, but she may be right too breathing deeply, breathing slowly, i hear my heart beat at the back of my head and i suddenly feel alone in this.

oh gosh. so what's happening? =/

i see how deadly how some flaws can tear a person apart. Like having no courage to stand tall and strong again. Keep me reminded that, it is only when i am weak then He is strong, remind me that only He refines the flaw and makes it into something good for his plan. I need not live in my own shadow.

it was a passing remark, but i was reminded that God has sent his guardian angels for me too. (:









sovereign hands

went to 2 libraries today, not too productive but again i love the slack moments that we still can have now. can't imagine how it will have been like when March comes. =/

hang in tight stressful peeps.

after the rain, its God's promised rainbow ((:

and today, i suddenly miss sitting by the beach with Jesus.

i miss the mix of sea breeze glorious nature and your heavenly presence..

JeslineYEO :D
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